Just Be Held

When the eye doctor first began talking to me about tube shunt surgery, I had no idea what it involved.  I had already undergone cataract surgery in both eyes and was more familiar with that.  More recently laser surgery for both eyes had been performed in an effort to lower the pressures.  Now they were advising this very invasive procedure to help stave off blindness.  

After some research, I pretty much decided “no” to that option.  

My next eye doctor visit, I was shown a series of peripheral vision tests I had undertaken over the previous ten years.  My loss of vision was very evident.  

I changed my mind. 

The first few days after that decision, I struggled with staying calm.  This was my eye.  They were going to cut it open and put stuff in.  So, I did what I have done so many times in my life.  I turned to God.  I knew He cared about my eye too.  After all, He made it.  Each day I printed out a different scripture of reassurance and read it through the day.  As the days passed, I was able to let go of the results.  

I am on a journey and undergoing that surgery is just part of my journey.  

Last Monday morning my daughter (who had come from California to take care of me) drove me to the clinic.  Due to COVID, she could not go in.  The first hour and one-half was devoted to making my eye numb.  I sat quietly as they stuck more than one needle in my eye.  After enough time had passed to ensure the deadening, I was taken to the surgery room.  

For two hours I lay there, listening to the doctor and nurse, hearing the sounds of equipment and feeling the blood pressure cuff inflate on a regular basis.  Each time, I asked what my numbers were.  I was very stable.  

The reason.  I was being held by God.  

In the days leading up to surgery, I had found a picture of being held and placed it on my iPhone so each time I used it I was reminded that God was holding me.  He was very real to me that day…in that room.  I knew I was surrounded with the prayers of many people.  Even the doctor had asked if I wanted prayer before he started.  

God was right there. 

I have no idea what you may be facing today or in the near future, but I do know you don’t have to handle it alone.  He is ready to be with you too.  All you have to do is ask.  

“But as for me…each morning I will sing with joy about your unfailing love.  For you have been my refuge, a place of safety when I am in distress.”  Psalm 59:16 (NLT)