I clicked on the link to approve my latest book, Either Way, It’s Okay. The story of John’s three-year cancer journey was complete and could now be printed for distribution. My immediate reaction astounded me. Expecting to be ecstatic, instead sobs escaped from deep within. For two years I had poured my heart and soul into sharing intimate stories of our love for each other and for God with the potential readers.
Now I was done.
I felt drained and vulnerable. Would it speak to them? Had I worded it so they understood? But my emotions emerged from something far deeper than that. Was this another piece of John I had disseminated on paper and that part of the story over? Even with all those thoughts swirling, an even more poignant feeling overwhelmed me. I longed to have him hold me, be with me as we recognized this achievement.
It had been almost eight years since his death. But in my grief journey I had learned there were no rules for grieving. I allowed the pain and sorrow to pour out until it was depleted. I had experienced enough crying bouts to know this was temporary and just something to work through.
Hours later I was able to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment. And I knew a fulfilling life awaited me when I was ready.
“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8 NLT
